I hate it when;
I go into the locker room at the gym, and no one’s there. I pick a locker, usually at an end or in a corner and before I claim it, I check the locker on either side and make sure nothing is in them so I have “my space”.
Then I finish my run or workout, come back in all sweaty, and either;
1- While I’m getting ready for a shower with my locker door open, another guy comes in and makes a beeline to the locker that’s right next to mine! What’s up with that? Or even worse…
2- I come in and he’s already set up camp. Has his stuff out on the bench right in front of my locker, towel laid out on the ground, and then when I go to open my locker, I sense that indignant vibe and I throw it right back, like, what the f*#& are you doing? Although that can be a little precarious…don’t want to get into a verbal dispute with your schmigick hanging out.
Anyway, I propose the following invention to alleviate this. Lockers should be the size of the individual. Just like in the Men’s Department, you got your 38 Regulars, you got your Big & Talls, and you have you boys department. Not bad. Eh? Thoughts…
Friday, April 01, 2011
Sunday, January 23, 2011
The BAHG for the U.S. that will get us "back in the saddle again"
Mr. President,
I’d like to share the following idea which I believe will spur job growth in our economy, rally our country around one common goal, and provide tangible results for our economic future;
Make the United States Energy Independent Within the Next 10 Years. Period.
Much like President Kennedy did with his goal to land a man on the moon within 10 years, this is a compelling vision that is a BAHG (big-ass, hairy goal), but is achievable, with profound positive results for our country - and the world. Benefits include the following five;
1-Getting America back to work. We have a desperate shortage of American engineers. We simply do not have enough American engineers to fill the job openings we have, yet we have 9+% - 17% unemployment depending upon how you slice the statistics. Where’s the disconnect? Frankly, this simply isn’t seen as a sexy career path. We are shown celebrities as heros (don’t get me wrong, I admire Tom Hanks as much as the next 50 year old regular Joe) but the odds of me becoming him or any of us becoming LeBron, Oprah, or Justin Beiber, etc. are one in a million – or more. Compare that to the odds of becoming a mechanical engineer for instance, and earning an average salary of $82,000 according to Indeed.com. And this is just one example. I suspect that there are other positions that are not considered glamorous where we have a labor shortage. We simply need to wrap our kids, parents, educational institutions, and US businesses (both large and small) around it and motivate the retraining of America. Use some of that TARP money that the large financial and auto companies have paid back to (dare I say) “stimulate this” if we have to.
2-Growing our economy. By creating more middle class jobs in the U.S. and creating job growth within the small business community we’ll create more consumer spending and we know what happens then.
3-Developing a new competitive differentiator that is desired by other countries and can be exported.
4-Creating additional leverage in international relationships with other countries. How can this not give us more options in making our country safe and secure and helping to create more peace in the world?
5-Protecting our environment. Assuming that a greater percentage of this energy will be clean based on current R&D trends.
I’m not going to go long and deep on this because frankly you and your team are a lot smarter than me, but frankly and with all due respect, since you didn't reach for this after the BP cluster f&*k (as the timing would have been great), and after you did such a great job capturing our attention again after the tragedy in Tucson, I think you can tee this up now and we can pull it off in fine bipartisan fashion. I think this is a no-brainer.
Your fellow citizen,
Howie Fertig
I’d like to share the following idea which I believe will spur job growth in our economy, rally our country around one common goal, and provide tangible results for our economic future;
Make the United States Energy Independent Within the Next 10 Years. Period.
Much like President Kennedy did with his goal to land a man on the moon within 10 years, this is a compelling vision that is a BAHG (big-ass, hairy goal), but is achievable, with profound positive results for our country - and the world. Benefits include the following five;
1-Getting America back to work. We have a desperate shortage of American engineers. We simply do not have enough American engineers to fill the job openings we have, yet we have 9+% - 17% unemployment depending upon how you slice the statistics. Where’s the disconnect? Frankly, this simply isn’t seen as a sexy career path. We are shown celebrities as heros (don’t get me wrong, I admire Tom Hanks as much as the next 50 year old regular Joe) but the odds of me becoming him or any of us becoming LeBron, Oprah, or Justin Beiber, etc. are one in a million – or more. Compare that to the odds of becoming a mechanical engineer for instance, and earning an average salary of $82,000 according to Indeed.com. And this is just one example. I suspect that there are other positions that are not considered glamorous where we have a labor shortage. We simply need to wrap our kids, parents, educational institutions, and US businesses (both large and small) around it and motivate the retraining of America. Use some of that TARP money that the large financial and auto companies have paid back to (dare I say) “stimulate this” if we have to.
2-Growing our economy. By creating more middle class jobs in the U.S. and creating job growth within the small business community we’ll create more consumer spending and we know what happens then.
3-Developing a new competitive differentiator that is desired by other countries and can be exported.
4-Creating additional leverage in international relationships with other countries. How can this not give us more options in making our country safe and secure and helping to create more peace in the world?
5-Protecting our environment. Assuming that a greater percentage of this energy will be clean based on current R&D trends.
I’m not going to go long and deep on this because frankly you and your team are a lot smarter than me, but frankly and with all due respect, since you didn't reach for this after the BP cluster f&*k (as the timing would have been great), and after you did such a great job capturing our attention again after the tragedy in Tucson, I think you can tee this up now and we can pull it off in fine bipartisan fashion. I think this is a no-brainer.
Your fellow citizen,
Howie Fertig
Wednesday, December 08, 2010
Uncle Ben
Ben Golub who passed away on Sunday at the age of 97 was Uncle Ben to me (insert “rice” joke here). He was also my Godfather - and he was there for me when my parents were gone – only it was long after I was a kid.
As he looked at the world through the eyes of a businessman, he might say our relationship was a barter arrangement. He’d give me a glimpse into the early 20th century, and I’d give a glimpse into the beginning of the 21st century.
As the Rabbi recounted during his funeral today, his life read like a Michner novel;
- He came to the U.S. from outside of Minsk, Russia at the age of 6
- Spent over 3 weeks traveling in the hull of a ship, where he was exposed to all aspects of the human condition, and as a result had to be quarantined on Ellis Island when he first arrived
- On that first night in a new land (I used to love having him tell me this story) he had ice cream for the first time. And he loved it so much; he only had ½ of it and put the other half under his pillow to save it for the next day. In that story, in that first day, were 2 themes that followed him throughout his life. He got presented to him what would end up sustaining his family (ice cream) and start his son-in-law on what would be his career. The story also reinforces how early and how ingrained in him was the importance of saving money
- Then, at the age of 10 after only completing 3rd grade, he went to work full-time hauling Seltzer bottles up tenement apartments as a delivery boy
- A couple of years later he started working in his brother’s butcher shop, first deliveries, then learning the craft
- In his late teens with the help of his family, he opened his own butcher shop, and whatever he didn’t sell he’d send to his brother’s shop – as he had a thriving business
- Things didn’t go as planned, so he started selling ice cream. At first he’d rent a horse by the day, and also had to feed it one meal a day while he peddled his ice cream
- And the rest is history
Speaking of history, as a kid he marveled at the gas lighters who would light the street lamps of New York before the city was electrified. He used to talk about how if you wanted light in your apartment you had to put a quarter in the meter and you’d get an hour of gaslight.
It’s hard for me to conceive of all the change he experienced during his lifetime. As a result, our time spent together has given me an even deeper appreciation for all I, and I would submit we, have – regardless of our station in life. There’s no way I’d ever get a sense of what he, and all our parents or grandparents or great grandparents went through coming to this foreign country to give us the opportunities and lifestyle that far exceed what life would have had in store for us if they hadn’t come to the United States.
But my gratitude for Uncle Ben doesn’t end there. He also gave me a roadmap for my future. I love learning new things, and I learn best by someone else demonstrating something so I can see how it’s done, it’s much clearer for me that way.
And Uncle Ben taught me two keys to growing old (in addition to good genes);
- He always kept busy doing things that were meaningful to him
- He was always inquisitive, always wanting to learn
After Aunt Ann passed away he started selling real estate and I believe he was showing properties into his late 80s. He also became fascinated by computers, took classes in them. I remember getting cryptic emails from him well into his 90s that read like they were from an older gentleman who was hard of hearing.
Hello?
Howard?
How are you?
He also used to complain about getting a lot of pornographic email. I’m sure it had nothing to do with his email address BigBen@hotmail.com (that goes under the category of truth is better than fiction). When he was around 90 he took a computer apart to try to figure out how it worked (no he didn't get it back together). And he would ask me questions like, "What is this thing...iPod? How does it work? How do they fit all that music into it?" Two weeks ago tomorrow on our way to Thanksgiving we were talking about how amazing GPSs are. “Look Uncle Ben, we’re 27.6 miles away from Roberta and Stan’s house, 27.5, .4…”. Always inquisitive. Like that 6 year old must have been having ice cream for the first time.
Unfortunately I don’t have his gene pool as he was my uncle by marriage, but as I never got to find out how old the men in the Fertig clan are when they die from natural causes, I’ll take the roadmap that my godfather has given me to map out that path, and I’ll always be grateful to him for that too.
As he looked at the world through the eyes of a businessman, he might say our relationship was a barter arrangement. He’d give me a glimpse into the early 20th century, and I’d give a glimpse into the beginning of the 21st century.
As the Rabbi recounted during his funeral today, his life read like a Michner novel;
- He came to the U.S. from outside of Minsk, Russia at the age of 6
- Spent over 3 weeks traveling in the hull of a ship, where he was exposed to all aspects of the human condition, and as a result had to be quarantined on Ellis Island when he first arrived
- On that first night in a new land (I used to love having him tell me this story) he had ice cream for the first time. And he loved it so much; he only had ½ of it and put the other half under his pillow to save it for the next day. In that story, in that first day, were 2 themes that followed him throughout his life. He got presented to him what would end up sustaining his family (ice cream) and start his son-in-law on what would be his career. The story also reinforces how early and how ingrained in him was the importance of saving money
- Then, at the age of 10 after only completing 3rd grade, he went to work full-time hauling Seltzer bottles up tenement apartments as a delivery boy
- A couple of years later he started working in his brother’s butcher shop, first deliveries, then learning the craft
- In his late teens with the help of his family, he opened his own butcher shop, and whatever he didn’t sell he’d send to his brother’s shop – as he had a thriving business
- Things didn’t go as planned, so he started selling ice cream. At first he’d rent a horse by the day, and also had to feed it one meal a day while he peddled his ice cream
- And the rest is history
Speaking of history, as a kid he marveled at the gas lighters who would light the street lamps of New York before the city was electrified. He used to talk about how if you wanted light in your apartment you had to put a quarter in the meter and you’d get an hour of gaslight.
It’s hard for me to conceive of all the change he experienced during his lifetime. As a result, our time spent together has given me an even deeper appreciation for all I, and I would submit we, have – regardless of our station in life. There’s no way I’d ever get a sense of what he, and all our parents or grandparents or great grandparents went through coming to this foreign country to give us the opportunities and lifestyle that far exceed what life would have had in store for us if they hadn’t come to the United States.
But my gratitude for Uncle Ben doesn’t end there. He also gave me a roadmap for my future. I love learning new things, and I learn best by someone else demonstrating something so I can see how it’s done, it’s much clearer for me that way.
And Uncle Ben taught me two keys to growing old (in addition to good genes);
- He always kept busy doing things that were meaningful to him
- He was always inquisitive, always wanting to learn
After Aunt Ann passed away he started selling real estate and I believe he was showing properties into his late 80s. He also became fascinated by computers, took classes in them. I remember getting cryptic emails from him well into his 90s that read like they were from an older gentleman who was hard of hearing.
Hello?
Howard?
How are you?
He also used to complain about getting a lot of pornographic email. I’m sure it had nothing to do with his email address BigBen@hotmail.com (that goes under the category of truth is better than fiction). When he was around 90 he took a computer apart to try to figure out how it worked (no he didn't get it back together). And he would ask me questions like, "What is this thing...iPod? How does it work? How do they fit all that music into it?" Two weeks ago tomorrow on our way to Thanksgiving we were talking about how amazing GPSs are. “Look Uncle Ben, we’re 27.6 miles away from Roberta and Stan’s house, 27.5, .4…”. Always inquisitive. Like that 6 year old must have been having ice cream for the first time.
Unfortunately I don’t have his gene pool as he was my uncle by marriage, but as I never got to find out how old the men in the Fertig clan are when they die from natural causes, I’ll take the roadmap that my godfather has given me to map out that path, and I’ll always be grateful to him for that too.
Tuesday, September 07, 2010
The Sound of the New Year
As I’ve had the honor and privilege of blowing Shofar on Rosh Hashanah at my Synagogue Shomrei Torah the last few years (thanks to the tutelage of Bruce Leff), I thought you might be interested in knowing what I think about when I’m blowing;
1-Don’t mess up
2-Realize that when Peter Sklar times me on Tekiah Godolah his watch runs just a little fast
3-Tekiah – the first in the series. I know the literal translation is “blast” but for me this sounds more like, “Hello, is there anybody out there? Anybody home? It’s time to wake up team Shomrei Torah, the end of the year is here (of course it also sounds a lot like my other team - the Minnesota Viking’s horn blast that they play at the Metrodome during football games http://www.kansasviking.com/downloads.html - but I don’t think it’s appropriate for me to go deep on my other allegiance during high holiday services…)
4-Shevarim – the 3 blasts. Again I understand the literal translation means “broken”, but to me this is all about repetition. This repeating is a reminder to think back on the year. What did I do? Where did I meet my goals? Where did I screw up? (It also sounds a little like the blasts you used to hear about 5 years ago during those Ricola cough drop commercials – but I might be alone on that one) http://search.yahoo.com/search?p=ricolah+cough+drop+commercials&ei=UTF-8&fr=chr-greentree_ff&type=302398
5-Teruah - this stands for "alarm" the nine staccato blasts that denote urgency. To me this means – ok so what am I gonna do about it? What actions am I going to take to make this year better for me and those I touch, family and otherwise? How am I going to spread the love? Pick your metaphor; the clock is ticking, the sand is falling through the hourglass, the train’s leaving the station, we’re chasing daylight, and my personal favorite, act as if your hair’s on fire (and no, that’s not how I lost it). And…
6-Tekiah Godolah – “the great blast“ or as I think about it – the money blast. It seems that’s what everyone mentions the most, but to me it symbolizes that my goal is to put every last breath into trying to be the best person I can be. For me, my family, and my community; large and small. And the reason I do a 360 while I blow it, is so everyone can hear a portion of the blast directly in their ear.
So that’s it; Wake up. What did I do with this year? How am I going to act to make next year better! And represent the congregation to show the strength we all have to get whatever it is that’s important to us - done…
1-Don’t mess up
2-Realize that when Peter Sklar times me on Tekiah Godolah his watch runs just a little fast
3-Tekiah – the first in the series. I know the literal translation is “blast” but for me this sounds more like, “Hello, is there anybody out there? Anybody home? It’s time to wake up team Shomrei Torah, the end of the year is here (of course it also sounds a lot like my other team - the Minnesota Viking’s horn blast that they play at the Metrodome during football games http://www.kansasviking.com/downloads.html - but I don’t think it’s appropriate for me to go deep on my other allegiance during high holiday services…)
4-Shevarim – the 3 blasts. Again I understand the literal translation means “broken”, but to me this is all about repetition. This repeating is a reminder to think back on the year. What did I do? Where did I meet my goals? Where did I screw up? (It also sounds a little like the blasts you used to hear about 5 years ago during those Ricola cough drop commercials – but I might be alone on that one) http://search.yahoo.com/search?p=ricolah+cough+drop+commercials&ei=UTF-8&fr=chr-greentree_ff&type=302398
5-Teruah - this stands for "alarm" the nine staccato blasts that denote urgency. To me this means – ok so what am I gonna do about it? What actions am I going to take to make this year better for me and those I touch, family and otherwise? How am I going to spread the love? Pick your metaphor; the clock is ticking, the sand is falling through the hourglass, the train’s leaving the station, we’re chasing daylight, and my personal favorite, act as if your hair’s on fire (and no, that’s not how I lost it). And…
6-Tekiah Godolah – “the great blast“ or as I think about it – the money blast. It seems that’s what everyone mentions the most, but to me it symbolizes that my goal is to put every last breath into trying to be the best person I can be. For me, my family, and my community; large and small. And the reason I do a 360 while I blow it, is so everyone can hear a portion of the blast directly in their ear.
So that’s it; Wake up. What did I do with this year? How am I going to act to make next year better! And represent the congregation to show the strength we all have to get whatever it is that’s important to us - done…
Friday, June 04, 2010
My Review of Mens New Balance 993 Running Shoe
Originally submitted at Road Runner Sports
Men's NEW BALANCE® 993 :: For years, this running shoe has given you reliable support, resilient cushioning, and maximum durability. Now the men's New Balance® 993 gives you all that in fresh design that's over an 1 ounce lighter! Made in USA in 76 size and width combinations....
I buy a pair of 993s every 3 months!
By Hank from Wayne, NJ on 6/4/2010
Sizing: Feels true to size
Width: Feels true to width
Arch Type: Average Arch
Pros: Comfortable, Durable, Pronation Control, Cushions Impact
Cons: Heavy
Best Uses: With Orthotics/Inserts
Describe Yourself: Avid Athlete
I've got 235 lbs. that pound on these running 15 miles a week mostly on asphalt and they take a lick and keep on kicking. Great as a stability shoe as well. They're heavy but so am I. If you're a big lug that's not built for speed but you put in the miles so you can still eat whatever you want, these are the shoes for you. Best to have two pair, switch off every time you run and replace one pair every three months.
(legalese)
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
You Can’t Make This S&!t Up - 2
All dialogue reported verbatim on on January 17-18 2010;
From Queens Boy (based on the Minnesota Vikings 34-3 rout of the Dallas Cowboys) to a large distribution list of family and friends who are aware of his longstanding allegiance to the Vikes…
“GO VIKES! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Tommie A
“The big font doesn't fool us. It was a decent win against an inferior opponent. Too bad they won't be in the Big Game against the J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets!”
Lonnie H
“Boy! You guys are tough. And even if you didn't like the way Favre dissed the Jets, you must admit, aside from Queens Boy how many other guys you know who are forty could play 60 minutes like Favre.”
Jeff M
“I am 52 and I am better than all of them! I can still throw 70 yards and more importantly I can f#*k 4 times in a night and shoot 4 loads! Can Favre or Fertig say that?”
Dori K
“hey jeff m, what are you doing tonight?”
Len N
“I don't know who the f#*k you are, but your full of s&!t and I am not talking about throwing a football!!!!!!!!!!”
Jeff M
“If you knew me you wouldn't say that! Ask Tommie, Queens Boy & Lonnie! They each get a load from me and I save the 4th for new comers like you!”
Queens Boy
“WHOA NELLIE!
1 -Tom, Lonnie, Jeff, Len, and Dori: thanks so much for once again proving that real life is better than fiction!
2- I personally apologize to all that I've emailed on your work/corporate addresses - and to my Rabbi (oy) on the visceral nature of some of these responses ;-) Please send me your personal emails (for those of you that haven't already) and I will make the changes...”
Jeff M
“Rabbi I apologize if the language offended you but I thank your boss for endowing me with wonderful features and abilities!”
Saturday, October 24, 2009
You Can’t Make This S&!t Up
Whenever I get into a 3 – way conversation with a man I’m proud to call my friend, Scott Taylor, I invariably ask the third person, “What’s the first concert you ever went to?”
It’s not a bad conversation starter anyway, but I’m teeing up Scott for victory as his first concert was The Beatles on Ed Sullivan – period, end of story, check please. As mine was The Carpenters at Westbury Music Fair (I keep telling myself that my parents meant well, “Look Howard, it’s in the round! The stage is turning!”), I’m dead to rights before the conversation begins.
Scott even has proof, as a recent compilation of all The Beatles appearances on Ed Sullivan has been released on DVD, and if you don’t blink on the last appearance in 66, you can see Scottie, his sister and his grandpa (bless his soul) in the audience. Actually they’re relatively easy to pick out, being the only three people in any shot that aren’t girls between the ages of 13 – 20 screaming their heads off (Scott’s sis was 8 at the time).
So it was a “Circle of Life” moment when his oldest son Alex got tickets to David Letterman (prephilandering exposed) and unbeknownst to him, it just happened to be the night Paul McCartney was playing live, on the top of the Marquee, with Alex easily spottable in a lime green T near the front of the crowd. It seemed that serendipity had struck, with Alex seeing the essence of what his dad had seen, the most popular musical group in history, in the same place, 43 years later.
Serendipity, shmerendipity. Fast forward about three months to a trip that Alex and Scott just took across the pond to what for them was really jolly old England because;
- Scott was going on a business trip for a week and got to make it a father/son excursion
- They went to see first cousins, as Scott’s folks are from the UK and had migrated to the U.S. as youts*
- On their first full day in London, they walked into a restaurant and sitting there was…Sir Paul!
What I would have given to see their faces as they recognized him, went up to him and shared this story, and as they walked away (he wouldn’t take a picture, didn’t know Scottie from Adam, didn’t want where he frequented to be publicized) overheard him say to one of his grand-kids, "Did you hear that! Did you hear that!"
* Not a typo, just homage to Fred Gwynne in “My Cousin Vinnie”
If you’ve got another example of real life kicking the crap out of fiction, let’s hear it!
It’s not a bad conversation starter anyway, but I’m teeing up Scott for victory as his first concert was The Beatles on Ed Sullivan – period, end of story, check please. As mine was The Carpenters at Westbury Music Fair (I keep telling myself that my parents meant well, “Look Howard, it’s in the round! The stage is turning!”), I’m dead to rights before the conversation begins.
Scott even has proof, as a recent compilation of all The Beatles appearances on Ed Sullivan has been released on DVD, and if you don’t blink on the last appearance in 66, you can see Scottie, his sister and his grandpa (bless his soul) in the audience. Actually they’re relatively easy to pick out, being the only three people in any shot that aren’t girls between the ages of 13 – 20 screaming their heads off (Scott’s sis was 8 at the time).
So it was a “Circle of Life” moment when his oldest son Alex got tickets to David Letterman (prephilandering exposed) and unbeknownst to him, it just happened to be the night Paul McCartney was playing live, on the top of the Marquee, with Alex easily spottable in a lime green T near the front of the crowd. It seemed that serendipity had struck, with Alex seeing the essence of what his dad had seen, the most popular musical group in history, in the same place, 43 years later.
Serendipity, shmerendipity. Fast forward about three months to a trip that Alex and Scott just took across the pond to what for them was really jolly old England because;
- Scott was going on a business trip for a week and got to make it a father/son excursion
- They went to see first cousins, as Scott’s folks are from the UK and had migrated to the U.S. as youts*
- On their first full day in London, they walked into a restaurant and sitting there was…Sir Paul!
What I would have given to see their faces as they recognized him, went up to him and shared this story, and as they walked away (he wouldn’t take a picture, didn’t know Scottie from Adam, didn’t want where he frequented to be publicized) overheard him say to one of his grand-kids, "Did you hear that! Did you hear that!"
* Not a typo, just homage to Fred Gwynne in “My Cousin Vinnie”
If you’ve got another example of real life kicking the crap out of fiction, let’s hear it!
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
109
When I told my family/friends I was going to my junior high school reunion they looked at me like I had three eyes, primarily because they haven’t made that stop in the Wayback Machine http://www.toonopedia.com/peabody.htm. Many of them commented on how they didn’t even remember many people from that far back, let alone stay in touch with them.
I/we did.
Seeing everyone on Saturday night, May 2nd, 2009 felt more than special, it felt unique. Once, twice, maybe three times in a lifetimeish, made possible for two reasons.
First, the environment that motivated us to get together when so many others don’t after 36 years. An environment fostered by the administration and teachers that managed it, and we were fortunate enough to have two of our most beloved representatives with us in Mr. Reginald Landau, Assistant Principal and Mr. Allen Stier, Music Teacher.
When I picture Mr. Landau, the snapshot’s in Ms. Marzulli/Mrs. Farmulare’s 7th grade Math/Homeroom class, wearing a grey 3-piece suit (think “Clyde” Frazier sounding like the “Cos” talking about education - on steroids - then read paragraph 6 of this Daily News editorial www.nydailynews.com/archives/opinions/1995/06/20/1995-06-20_______and_make_this_chancell.html ). Putting his thumbs under his vest by the armpits, striking a masterly pose, he asks, “How are my cherubs doing today?” .
A wise man, very precise in his vocabulary, he always seemed to be thinking three steps ahead of us (which probably meant at least one step ahead of the teachers). Even the night of the reunion, when he’d ask anyone of us open ended questions, we’d be afraid to answer. Indirectly, through his presence and sublime delegation (more on that in a moment) he made us (me anyway) smart (it’s a relative term). Period. End of sentence.
I recall the day in 9th grade when he came to me and said “Fertig, I need you for two periods before lunch” (the good news), and then walked me to the cafeteria where he handed me a pencil, paper, and tape measure? Turns out I had to measure the entire 9th grade class for their caps and gowns, which really turned out to be a lesson in hair maintenance (the not so good news). With the wonderful diversity in our school, by the time I was done, my hands could wax a limo. And of course who did I get near the end? Barnett Crawford (the bad news). All I needed was to pull the tape measure too tight around his fro. I had a vision of Mr. Flug presiding over my funeral and calling, “Barnett Crawford 7-12 up to the mike” just like he did most days at lunch.
When I think of Mr. Stier, I get multiple images. The name Charles Ives, with each letter written separately on yellow construction paper over the instrument room door. Ives was a modern American composer by night and an insurance salesman by day. He brought home the bacon but kept his passion, and so did Allen Stier. I think of a certain smile, right after he tapped the baton and right before we started to play, like a little kid who might get what he wanted for the holidays, but then again might not.
Somewhere during the 8th grade Mr. Stier either had a renewed interest in guitar, or thought it would add to our sound, and he started playing with us in the jazz band during performances, becoming even closer to some of us – a player/coach. I can’t quantify it, but bottom line, he was everybody’s favorite teacher, and the bands didn’t sound ½ bad (yes I’m trying not to sound biased). We wanted to play for him. He cared.
And he pushed us. The hell with “Plink, Plank, Plunk”, we were playing “Night on Bald Mountain” by Mussorgsky from the movie “Fantasia”. And when the trumpets couldn’t play quiet enough (near the end of the piece, after the storm), he came to the back of the room with me, Bill Robinson, Mike Desimone, and Byron Williams*, and said, “You know how after you get done kissing a girl? After the excitement? When you feel really calm? That’s what this should sound like.”, only thing was, because we weren’t David Hanson or Michael Sada (the only two guys who knew what that was like, hell, they had probably had their drivers licenses by then), we had no idea what he was talking about.
The second factor that made the evening memorable was us. Whether we see each other regularly like Aff (Tom), The Captain (Pete Marchelos), Hesh (aka Howard Alan Hoffman, hell, Hesh and The Captain are like me and Mrs. Jones), and me, once every decade or so like me and Mitch Seiler, or once every thirty six years (which is how long it’s been since we’ve graduated), which means if we do this in another 36 years we’ll be 86 (that‘s older than Mr. Landau and Mr. Stier now! - kidding sirs), there’s a bond I felt when I looked into everyones eyes, a shared history that in the grand scheme of things few of us on the planet are fortune enough to experience, that we’ll always have.
So here’s to us!
Here’s to 109!
And here’s to the next reunion (may it be in less than 36 years)!
Also, just as I’ve shared a couple of my memories, I’m remised that we all didn’t share them during coffee and dessert (I suggested it to Janice. How come you didn’t remind us to do this? You’ve got three men in your house that if they stood on each other’s shoulders would be taller than the Freedom Tower if they built it, you could have gotten us to do this!). So, if any memories of moments, teachers, or classic scenarios come to mind, like Chris Poulios at lunch growling “Take a seat Flugie”, or me (I was not alone) repeatedly filling Barry Levine’s black cons with fruit salad and quintuple knotting them to the cafeteria table (where in the world is Barry Levine? probably teaching nuclear fusion at MIT), perhaps we can share those on the Facebook site, or click on the pencil below and I will post them there…
* hell of an artist, he used to read The Boston Strangler during class and draw amazing pictures of naked ½ bodies - either top or bottom - reconnected in erotic combinations that I still can’t fathom.
I/we did.
Seeing everyone on Saturday night, May 2nd, 2009 felt more than special, it felt unique. Once, twice, maybe three times in a lifetimeish, made possible for two reasons.
First, the environment that motivated us to get together when so many others don’t after 36 years. An environment fostered by the administration and teachers that managed it, and we were fortunate enough to have two of our most beloved representatives with us in Mr. Reginald Landau, Assistant Principal and Mr. Allen Stier, Music Teacher.
When I picture Mr. Landau, the snapshot’s in Ms. Marzulli/Mrs. Farmulare’s 7th grade Math/Homeroom class, wearing a grey 3-piece suit (think “Clyde” Frazier sounding like the “Cos” talking about education - on steroids - then read paragraph 6 of this Daily News editorial www.nydailynews.com/archives/opinions/1995/06/20/1995-06-20_______and_make_this_chancell.html ). Putting his thumbs under his vest by the armpits, striking a masterly pose, he asks, “How are my cherubs doing today?” .
A wise man, very precise in his vocabulary, he always seemed to be thinking three steps ahead of us (which probably meant at least one step ahead of the teachers). Even the night of the reunion, when he’d ask anyone of us open ended questions, we’d be afraid to answer. Indirectly, through his presence and sublime delegation (more on that in a moment) he made us (me anyway) smart (it’s a relative term). Period. End of sentence.
I recall the day in 9th grade when he came to me and said “Fertig, I need you for two periods before lunch” (the good news), and then walked me to the cafeteria where he handed me a pencil, paper, and tape measure? Turns out I had to measure the entire 9th grade class for their caps and gowns, which really turned out to be a lesson in hair maintenance (the not so good news). With the wonderful diversity in our school, by the time I was done, my hands could wax a limo. And of course who did I get near the end? Barnett Crawford (the bad news). All I needed was to pull the tape measure too tight around his fro. I had a vision of Mr. Flug presiding over my funeral and calling, “Barnett Crawford 7-12 up to the mike” just like he did most days at lunch.
When I think of Mr. Stier, I get multiple images. The name Charles Ives, with each letter written separately on yellow construction paper over the instrument room door. Ives was a modern American composer by night and an insurance salesman by day. He brought home the bacon but kept his passion, and so did Allen Stier. I think of a certain smile, right after he tapped the baton and right before we started to play, like a little kid who might get what he wanted for the holidays, but then again might not.
Somewhere during the 8th grade Mr. Stier either had a renewed interest in guitar, or thought it would add to our sound, and he started playing with us in the jazz band during performances, becoming even closer to some of us – a player/coach. I can’t quantify it, but bottom line, he was everybody’s favorite teacher, and the bands didn’t sound ½ bad (yes I’m trying not to sound biased). We wanted to play for him. He cared.
And he pushed us. The hell with “Plink, Plank, Plunk”, we were playing “Night on Bald Mountain” by Mussorgsky from the movie “Fantasia”. And when the trumpets couldn’t play quiet enough (near the end of the piece, after the storm), he came to the back of the room with me, Bill Robinson, Mike Desimone, and Byron Williams*, and said, “You know how after you get done kissing a girl? After the excitement? When you feel really calm? That’s what this should sound like.”, only thing was, because we weren’t David Hanson or Michael Sada (the only two guys who knew what that was like, hell, they had probably had their drivers licenses by then), we had no idea what he was talking about.
The second factor that made the evening memorable was us. Whether we see each other regularly like Aff (Tom), The Captain (Pete Marchelos), Hesh (aka Howard Alan Hoffman, hell, Hesh and The Captain are like me and Mrs. Jones), and me, once every decade or so like me and Mitch Seiler, or once every thirty six years (which is how long it’s been since we’ve graduated), which means if we do this in another 36 years we’ll be 86 (that‘s older than Mr. Landau and Mr. Stier now! - kidding sirs), there’s a bond I felt when I looked into everyones eyes, a shared history that in the grand scheme of things few of us on the planet are fortune enough to experience, that we’ll always have.
So here’s to us!
Here’s to 109!
And here’s to the next reunion (may it be in less than 36 years)!
Also, just as I’ve shared a couple of my memories, I’m remised that we all didn’t share them during coffee and dessert (I suggested it to Janice. How come you didn’t remind us to do this? You’ve got three men in your house that if they stood on each other’s shoulders would be taller than the Freedom Tower if they built it, you could have gotten us to do this!). So, if any memories of moments, teachers, or classic scenarios come to mind, like Chris Poulios at lunch growling “Take a seat Flugie”, or me (I was not alone) repeatedly filling Barry Levine’s black cons with fruit salad and quintuple knotting them to the cafeteria table (where in the world is Barry Levine? probably teaching nuclear fusion at MIT), perhaps we can share those on the Facebook site, or click on the pencil below and I will post them there…
* hell of an artist, he used to read The Boston Strangler during class and draw amazing pictures of naked ½ bodies - either top or bottom - reconnected in erotic combinations that I still can’t fathom.
Sunday, April 05, 2009
Better Than Iowa
As those of you who read this Blog know, I’ve been smartin’ about the way the Mets handled the dismantling of Shea Stadium.
Imagine your extended family was giving an old ugly uncle of yours euthanasia. He probably could have held on for a few more years, but his immediate (adopted) family wanted to put him out of their misery. They had a party celebrating all the great things the rest of his family did that he was a part of, but they didn’t mention the tomatoes he planted for many years, the bright blue and orange squared accessories he used to like to wear in his youth before the family decided to dress him in their favorite shade of blue, or the way he used to rearrange his seats when yo came to visit, depending upon whether you wanted to watch baseball or football. The family didn’t focus on him, they didn’t want you to spend much time on him, and they certainly weren’t going to give you a real opportunity to put a period at the end of that sentence.
Sure we said good bye to the Mets at Shea with Tom Terrific and Piazza closing the centerfield gates, but we didn’t say goodbye to Shea itself, and that stuck in my craw… until Friday night.
Thanks to Rich “Chubs” Schaffer, I got to ride shotgun on the opening night of CitiField. We came in at leftfield (formerly Gate A), went up the escalator to the field level (Section 128 - gotta get used to the new naming conventions) and walked in the open air promenade to look at the place. I'll always remember the minute I spent looking out at centerfield, with those 2 big scoreboards, and all that wrought iron and brick. It kinda felt like the first night Spence was born, watching him in the nursery from behind the glass, settling in for his first night’s sleep, and falling in love with him. That’s how it felt looking at CitiField for the first time. I’m over Shea. I’m home.
I felt like I was looking at all those pictures of Ebbets Field (minus Symphony Sid). Take that bandbox, put it on steroids, and open the decks up. It’s like the Wilpons went to Baltimore, San Franciso, Philly, Cleveland, Petco and DC and said, I'll take one of these, and that, and a couple of those, and…
they've successfully “retro”ed Ebbets Field.
All night, as Rich and I explored the park – along with everyone else (no one stayed in their seats), it was like we were all giddy kids on unguided tours bumping into other. A buncha 50+ year old guys with the same shit eating grins. All over the place you heard derivations of, “the hell with Iowa, THIS is heaven”!
I can’t sit in the ballpark I went to with my dad, cause neither of them are here anymore, but I can sit in a newer version of the ballpark my father grew up in, living a newer version of what he saw. It’s probably as close to time travel as I’m going to get to (aside from watching an episode of LOST).
So the lesson (I've relearned again) is, whenever one thing ends, something else begins, and that's not necessarily a bad thing.
Now, to apply that to the rest of my life, but how bout you? What are your memories of Shea? What lemons have you/are you turning to lemonade?
Imagine your extended family was giving an old ugly uncle of yours euthanasia. He probably could have held on for a few more years, but his immediate (adopted) family wanted to put him out of their misery. They had a party celebrating all the great things the rest of his family did that he was a part of, but they didn’t mention the tomatoes he planted for many years, the bright blue and orange squared accessories he used to like to wear in his youth before the family decided to dress him in their favorite shade of blue, or the way he used to rearrange his seats when yo came to visit, depending upon whether you wanted to watch baseball or football. The family didn’t focus on him, they didn’t want you to spend much time on him, and they certainly weren’t going to give you a real opportunity to put a period at the end of that sentence.
Sure we said good bye to the Mets at Shea with Tom Terrific and Piazza closing the centerfield gates, but we didn’t say goodbye to Shea itself, and that stuck in my craw… until Friday night.
Thanks to Rich “Chubs” Schaffer, I got to ride shotgun on the opening night of CitiField. We came in at leftfield (formerly Gate A), went up the escalator to the field level (Section 128 - gotta get used to the new naming conventions) and walked in the open air promenade to look at the place. I'll always remember the minute I spent looking out at centerfield, with those 2 big scoreboards, and all that wrought iron and brick. It kinda felt like the first night Spence was born, watching him in the nursery from behind the glass, settling in for his first night’s sleep, and falling in love with him. That’s how it felt looking at CitiField for the first time. I’m over Shea. I’m home.
I felt like I was looking at all those pictures of Ebbets Field (minus Symphony Sid). Take that bandbox, put it on steroids, and open the decks up. It’s like the Wilpons went to Baltimore, San Franciso, Philly, Cleveland, Petco and DC and said, I'll take one of these, and that, and a couple of those, and…
they've successfully “retro”ed Ebbets Field.
All night, as Rich and I explored the park – along with everyone else (no one stayed in their seats), it was like we were all giddy kids on unguided tours bumping into other. A buncha 50+ year old guys with the same shit eating grins. All over the place you heard derivations of, “the hell with Iowa, THIS is heaven”!
I can’t sit in the ballpark I went to with my dad, cause neither of them are here anymore, but I can sit in a newer version of the ballpark my father grew up in, living a newer version of what he saw. It’s probably as close to time travel as I’m going to get to (aside from watching an episode of LOST).
So the lesson (I've relearned again) is, whenever one thing ends, something else begins, and that's not necessarily a bad thing.
Now, to apply that to the rest of my life, but how bout you? What are your memories of Shea? What lemons have you/are you turning to lemonade?
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Invention: The Retractable Steering Column
The last steering wheel innovation that comes to mind is the tilt, which was great for my 36” inseam. Now after 33 years of driving, it’s dawned on me that while I have a 36” sleeve as well (what a well proportioned guy I am!), when my legs are at a comfortable distance from the pedal, my arms feel too far from the wheel, and when my arms are at a comfortable distance from the wheel, my legs are cramped, hence the need for said retractable steering column.
Thoughts?
Thoughts?
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
New Years 2009
This year New Years felt a little anticlimactic. I don’t know if it was because of the state the economy, the fact that there’s no short term fix in sight, or because New Years came early this year.
When I think of New Years, I picture TV shots of throngs of people celebrating in the center of large cities, capped by a climactic moment with great displays of emotion. I think the reason December 31st didn’t feel like New Years is because it actually took place about two months prior, on November 4th, 2008. Instead of “rockin” in another New Years with Dick Clark (can you believe that guy?), we ushered in a New Era with Barack Obama.
I didn’t hear a lot of friends or family members talk about resolutions this year. It feels like everyone is deferring their personal goals to the President–Elect’s hopes for us as a country.
Maybe it’s just me, but when I think of New Years, I think of Times Square, which is next to Broadway in New York. Since Obama’s been elected, I feel like we’re listening to/watching a long overture at a Broadway show who’s curtain won’t go up until January 20th.
Here’s hoping we get a musical.
When I think of New Years, I picture TV shots of throngs of people celebrating in the center of large cities, capped by a climactic moment with great displays of emotion. I think the reason December 31st didn’t feel like New Years is because it actually took place about two months prior, on November 4th, 2008. Instead of “rockin” in another New Years with Dick Clark (can you believe that guy?), we ushered in a New Era with Barack Obama.
I didn’t hear a lot of friends or family members talk about resolutions this year. It feels like everyone is deferring their personal goals to the President–Elect’s hopes for us as a country.
Maybe it’s just me, but when I think of New Years, I think of Times Square, which is next to Broadway in New York. Since Obama’s been elected, I feel like we’re listening to/watching a long overture at a Broadway show who’s curtain won’t go up until January 20th.
Here’s hoping we get a musical.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
NEIL
Saw Neil Young on 12.15.08 at MSG (Wilco opened) with Mike Toben, Tom Afflerbach and his friend John. It was a(nother) religious experience. I’ve been to this church 5 times before:
o Stills & Young with Aff at Nassau Coliseum (July 76)
o Rust Never Sleeps with Mitch Seiler at Nassau Coliseum (October 78)
o Neil with The MGs (Booker T’s) with Mike Toben at Jones Beach in the pouring rain – Aff & John were there (early 90s)
o Neil with Crazy Horse (Pretenders opened), at with Mike at Jones Beach (late 90s)
o Neil with Crazy Horse doing Greendale w FF at Radio City (2005?)
What made last night sacred? Imagine 18,000 strong at the Garden, singing lyrics not only to the chorus, but to the stanzas of Powderfinger, Cortez, Heart of Gold, etc… Picture “Day in the Life” as the encore, and during that last dissonant chord, he pulls the strings out of the bridge of his guitar, whips them against the fret board, then leans his guitar against a speaker and walks off the stage…..
Though I tried to keep a set list of the show, I couldn’t read my writing afterwords so here’s the gleanings from various reviews (with help from Tommy A and in no apparent order except the encore):
My, My, Hey, Hey, Powderfinger, Cortez, Light a Candle, Fuel Line, Hit the Road and Go to Town, Heart of Gold, Old Man, Mother Earth, Needle and the Damage Done, Cowgirl in the Sand, Rocking in the Free World, A Day in the Life.
The anecdotal consensus is, you either love Neil or you hate him. A lot of my friends wonder, "What’s the big whoop? He sounds like a cat, and only plays three chord songs (so I’m told)." So why has he been so popular going on 40 years? Why does he sound so vital to so many people (including me)? One word:
Essence
Defined in Webster’s Dictionary as “The constituent elementary notions which constitute a complex notion, and must be enumerated to define it; sometimes called the nominal essence.The constituent quality or qualities which belong to any object, or class of objects, or on which they depend for being what they are (distinguished as real essence); the real being, divested of all logical accidents; that quality which constitutes or marks the true nature of anything; distinctive character; hence, virtue or quality of a thing, separated from its grosser parts.”
Translated - no BS. He wears his heart on his sleeve with lyrics that ring true whether they're truths or stories, his musical vocabulary isn't rocket science, so it's tasty to those who love loud and/or acoustic, and he consistently delivers with Passion (capital P intended).
Who else besides Clapton, continues to crank out new music for 40+ years on a consistent basis?
After 9-11, who sang "Imagine" to the country on that fundraiser all the networks carried?
Nuff Said.
o Stills & Young with Aff at Nassau Coliseum (July 76)
o Rust Never Sleeps with Mitch Seiler at Nassau Coliseum (October 78)
o Neil with The MGs (Booker T’s) with Mike Toben at Jones Beach in the pouring rain – Aff & John were there (early 90s)
o Neil with Crazy Horse (Pretenders opened), at with Mike at Jones Beach (late 90s)
o Neil with Crazy Horse doing Greendale w FF at Radio City (2005?)
What made last night sacred? Imagine 18,000 strong at the Garden, singing lyrics not only to the chorus, but to the stanzas of Powderfinger, Cortez, Heart of Gold, etc… Picture “Day in the Life” as the encore, and during that last dissonant chord, he pulls the strings out of the bridge of his guitar, whips them against the fret board, then leans his guitar against a speaker and walks off the stage…..
Though I tried to keep a set list of the show, I couldn’t read my writing afterwords so here’s the gleanings from various reviews (with help from Tommy A and in no apparent order except the encore):
My, My, Hey, Hey, Powderfinger, Cortez, Light a Candle, Fuel Line, Hit the Road and Go to Town, Heart of Gold, Old Man, Mother Earth, Needle and the Damage Done, Cowgirl in the Sand, Rocking in the Free World, A Day in the Life.
The anecdotal consensus is, you either love Neil or you hate him. A lot of my friends wonder, "What’s the big whoop? He sounds like a cat, and only plays three chord songs (so I’m told)." So why has he been so popular going on 40 years? Why does he sound so vital to so many people (including me)? One word:
Essence
Defined in Webster’s Dictionary as “The constituent elementary notions which constitute a complex notion, and must be enumerated to define it; sometimes called the nominal essence.The constituent quality or qualities which belong to any object, or class of objects, or on which they depend for being what they are (distinguished as real essence); the real being, divested of all logical accidents; that quality which constitutes or marks the true nature of anything; distinctive character; hence, virtue or quality of a thing, separated from its grosser parts.”
Translated - no BS. He wears his heart on his sleeve with lyrics that ring true whether they're truths or stories, his musical vocabulary isn't rocket science, so it's tasty to those who love loud and/or acoustic, and he consistently delivers with Passion (capital P intended).
Who else besides Clapton, continues to crank out new music for 40+ years on a consistent basis?
After 9-11, who sang "Imagine" to the country on that fundraiser all the networks carried?
Nuff Said.
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
“Living” History
Assuming you’re not a racial bigot, and putting aside party allegiances (if you can, and this is coming from an independent), how many days in your life can you say you witnessed or were truly a part of history that impacts you as a citizen of the USA (ok, so I gotta throw out the Mets WS win in 69 and I’m still waiting on the Vikes)?
Regardless of whether you voted for or against Obama, can anyone deny that last night was an amazing event that we will reference for the rest of our lives?
I’m fast approaching 50 and my list includes (in chronological order):
- Kennedy King, Kennedy assassinations…(ok, positive moments now...)
- Neil Armstrong landing on the Moon
- Watergate – Nixon’s Resignation Speech (get positive...)
- Challenger Disaster (still trying...)
- Reagan at the Berlin Wall, “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!”
- President Clinton, “I did not have sexual relations with that woman” (hmmm...)
- 9-11 (I know, I know...)
- November 5th, 2008, Barack Obama elected as first Black President of the United States
What events am I missing? If none, then by my count last night is in the top ten, and if we’re just looking at positives, I’m thinking it’s in the top 3 – and that’s not accounting for order of importance...
Again, I’m no Democrat (or Republican) so I’m not talking policies or ideologies, I’m talking Brotherhood of Man – U.S. style….
Agree? Disagree? Thoughts??? (Click on the word "comment" to comment)
(By the way, you know you’re undergoing tremendous change when the first name of your President-elect gets underlined during spellcheck!)
Regardless of whether you voted for or against Obama, can anyone deny that last night was an amazing event that we will reference for the rest of our lives?
I’m fast approaching 50 and my list includes (in chronological order):
- Kennedy King, Kennedy assassinations…(ok, positive moments now...)
- Neil Armstrong landing on the Moon
- Watergate – Nixon’s Resignation Speech (get positive...)
- Challenger Disaster (still trying...)
- Reagan at the Berlin Wall, “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!”
- President Clinton, “I did not have sexual relations with that woman” (hmmm...)
- 9-11 (I know, I know...)
- November 5th, 2008, Barack Obama elected as first Black President of the United States
What events am I missing? If none, then by my count last night is in the top ten, and if we’re just looking at positives, I’m thinking it’s in the top 3 – and that’s not accounting for order of importance...
Again, I’m no Democrat (or Republican) so I’m not talking policies or ideologies, I’m talking Brotherhood of Man – U.S. style….
Agree? Disagree? Thoughts??? (Click on the word "comment" to comment)
(By the way, you know you’re undergoing tremendous change when the first name of your President-elect gets underlined during spellcheck!)
Sunday, October 12, 2008
McCain’s Next Move
If I’m John McCain…”Given:
- The continued parallels between the state of the economy and my campaign
- The fact that I am a (say the M word)
- That I haven’t shaken up my campaign in………what time is it?
- That an Alaska ethics report concluded on Friday that that my running mate abused her power as governor when firing a state official, which must be extremely upsetting to her, and as I care deeply about the pain she is feeling, (my friends)…
I’m going to counsel Governor Palin to tell the American people that she has decided it best for them if she steps down as my running mate so she can clear her name (and become even more wildly popular as a wronged underdog, and free up time to drop even more ceremonial first pucks at NHL games like she did in Philadelphia on Saturday night http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/politics/6053774.html ).
Unfortunately, as a result I’ll just have to ask Mitt Romney to become my running mate. While he’s thinking about accepting, I’ll share with him that based on the precedent set by Dick Cheney during the current administration, I will give Mitt the same level of executive branch responsibility, but for economic policy. I’ll also remind him that I’m 71 years old. I think that will help him to make his decision, on behalf of the country of course.”
Impossible? Never happen? Based on this election cycle, are you kidding me? It's money in the bank (ooops).
- The continued parallels between the state of the economy and my campaign
- The fact that I am a (say the M word)
- That I haven’t shaken up my campaign in………what time is it?
- That an Alaska ethics report concluded on Friday that that my running mate abused her power as governor when firing a state official, which must be extremely upsetting to her, and as I care deeply about the pain she is feeling, (my friends)…
I’m going to counsel Governor Palin to tell the American people that she has decided it best for them if she steps down as my running mate so she can clear her name (and become even more wildly popular as a wronged underdog, and free up time to drop even more ceremonial first pucks at NHL games like she did in Philadelphia on Saturday night http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/politics/6053774.html ).
Unfortunately, as a result I’ll just have to ask Mitt Romney to become my running mate. While he’s thinking about accepting, I’ll share with him that based on the precedent set by Dick Cheney during the current administration, I will give Mitt the same level of executive branch responsibility, but for economic policy. I’ll also remind him that I’m 71 years old. I think that will help him to make his decision, on behalf of the country of course.”
Impossible? Never happen? Based on this election cycle, are you kidding me? It's money in the bank (ooops).
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
McCain Obama: Round 2
As McCain is down in the polls that I’ve seen, and as he’s got that fighter pilot mentality: likes to shoot from the hip (nominating Palin, “suspending” his campaign to help resolve the economic crisis), I expected him to do something else out of the (wild) blue (yonder), but aside from offering to resolve the economic crisis by letting families who are threatened with foreclosure renegotiate their mortgages based on the current value of their homes, I didn’t hear it. In fact, I had problems staying awake at some points. Too much Talking Heads - without David Byrne.
To me they both sounded like parents talking to children who had just awakened from a bad dream (seeing their 401ks drop like a rock); telling us what (they perceive) we wanted to hear: weighing the economic crisis against their desire to get elected and not let voters play kill the messenger with either of them. But we are in deep economic shit, and I thought they each missed one specific opportunity to gain an advantage, tell us what we want/need to hear, and take a true leadership role.
Someone asked, "What would each candidate ask the American people to sacrifice, to turn the country around?", and I kept waiting to hear the 21st century version of JFK’s “ask not what your country can do for you” riff, but instead each candidate continued to demonize Wall Street while tucking us back into bed with our blankies.
Maybe I’m alone on this but I think we the American people are ready to hear that we need to take our share of ownership for what’s occurred. Did anybody put a gun to our heads to sign those balloon mortgages, or to buy SUVs whose gas gauge moves faster than the speedometer? Doesn’t it take a crisis like this to galvanize us as a society?
I can only hope that while that question caught them both by surprise, it’s percolating inside the heads of their speech writers and will result in a quality response within the next 4 weeks, or at least during the winner’s inaugural address.
To me they both sounded like parents talking to children who had just awakened from a bad dream (seeing their 401ks drop like a rock); telling us what (they perceive) we wanted to hear: weighing the economic crisis against their desire to get elected and not let voters play kill the messenger with either of them. But we are in deep economic shit, and I thought they each missed one specific opportunity to gain an advantage, tell us what we want/need to hear, and take a true leadership role.
Someone asked, "What would each candidate ask the American people to sacrifice, to turn the country around?", and I kept waiting to hear the 21st century version of JFK’s “ask not what your country can do for you” riff, but instead each candidate continued to demonize Wall Street while tucking us back into bed with our blankies.
Maybe I’m alone on this but I think we the American people are ready to hear that we need to take our share of ownership for what’s occurred. Did anybody put a gun to our heads to sign those balloon mortgages, or to buy SUVs whose gas gauge moves faster than the speedometer? Doesn’t it take a crisis like this to galvanize us as a society?
I can only hope that while that question caught them both by surprise, it’s percolating inside the heads of their speech writers and will result in a quality response within the next 4 weeks, or at least during the winner’s inaugural address.
Friday, October 03, 2008
Biden / Palin: You Decide… Really
Lets take the FOX tagline seriously (this one time). The winner of the debate depends on what you were looking for. If it was for Palin to not recreate her role of doing an impersonation of Tina Fey impersonating herself, then she won hands down. You can tell that she got an “A” in her TV production classes and that whoever hired her as a TV Sportscaster in Alaska knew what they were doing.
If your standard was who would be better at leading the free world should our President (G-d forbid) become deceased, and/or if you were to judge them as equals, then it seemed to me - as an Independent - that you would have to be asked to take a drug test if you didn’t come out of the debate thinking Biden has a greater command of the issues and of the role of President.
Either way, does the result change the current state of the election? Was Palin able to stop the slide that McCain is feeling based on our recent economic woes? No. For instance, I don’t think he’s going to turn around and pour money and resources back into Michigan, a state that he thought was up for grabs that voted Democratic in 2004. I think he’ll keep those resources in Indiana, a state that voted Republican last time that is being threatened by the Dems.
The real issue is that we’re even having this conversation, that the two sides of our electoral coin are so out of alignment. That we’re as polarized as a country as we are right now. Our anxiety is understandable, based on our recent economic downturn, the housing crisis, the upcoming credit crunch, the lingering war.
My gut says that whoever wins, they’ll be able to play the white knight and correct many of the missteps of the last 8 years. If memory serves (and this is meant as proof that economic downturns can be corrected, not as a Party related statement), when Clinton came into office in 92, we were facing tremendous debt that was turned into a great surplus before he left. Once we get the economy (which is cyclical in nature) back on track, once we get cooperation and resources back internationally, people will feel less unsure, less anxious, and less polarized.
Then only the real cause of our discomfort will still be left.
How do we get the best of the best, our real leaders, to want to run this country?
How do we get subsequent generations of kids to want to grow up and become President?
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
HAIRMAN
Dialing for dollars with headset on during a fierce thunder storm today, our house was hit by lightning and I recieved a surge of electricity through my head which has given me superhuman powers – I’ve grown my hair back – I’ve become become:
HAIRMAN
able to grow hair at will: first on my head, then by harnessing my power - anywhere on my body – except, curiously, my palms?!
Over time I will grow hair in any color as well. First human colors, then overtime based on my experience as an art teacher, primary, secondary, and tertiary colors. And then, based on energy that has been stored in my body since the lightning storm – neon!
I will use my hair to take on different personas in an effort to bring harmony to mankind by walking a mile in the shoes of other people including: Exotic dancers, Barack Obama, and Donald Trump (it was either him or Don King – I flipped a coin).
I vow to continue my quest as Hairman, and to correct little old Jewish ladies when they call me Herman!
HAIRMAN
able to grow hair at will: first on my head, then by harnessing my power - anywhere on my body – except, curiously, my palms?!
Over time I will grow hair in any color as well. First human colors, then overtime based on my experience as an art teacher, primary, secondary, and tertiary colors. And then, based on energy that has been stored in my body since the lightning storm – neon!
I will use my hair to take on different personas in an effort to bring harmony to mankind by walking a mile in the shoes of other people including: Exotic dancers, Barack Obama, and Donald Trump (it was either him or Don King – I flipped a coin).
I vow to continue my quest as Hairman, and to correct little old Jewish ladies when they call me Herman!
Tuesday, August 05, 2008
McCain Gets Off the Schneid
Tuesday, August 05, 2008 - So McCain won last week. If I’m Camp Obama, I’d rather loose a week in the summer than in early November (think 2007 New England Patriots). The key for Obama will be how he bounces back, does he get back on message and use McCain’s “playbook” to illustrate how there’s nothing designed to address the real issues (economy, energy, Iraq, etc.).
For that matter, if Obama wants to give the Republicans a run for their money, wants to try to put this thing away early, the real challenge is for him to throw REAL substance at the issues, make McCain speak to the issues.
If he doesn’t - or can’t, then THAT'S a problem, and McCain SHOULD be nipping at his heels.
For that matter, if Obama wants to give the Republicans a run for their money, wants to try to put this thing away early, the real challenge is for him to throw REAL substance at the issues, make McCain speak to the issues.
If he doesn’t - or can’t, then THAT'S a problem, and McCain SHOULD be nipping at his heels.
Sunday, August 03, 2008
My Son: Congressional Intern
Spence spent this summer as an intern for Congressman Gary Ackerman of eastern Queens (our former district). Carol and I took a trip to our nation's capital to have our son give us a tour of The Capitol (how cool is that)! Tour highlights were:
- Seeing him walk towards us down a long corridor of the Rayburn Building, one of three buildings where congressmen have their offices (think the last scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark) in intern uniform, black slacks, shirt and tie, like he's worked there for a lot longer than six weeks
- Taking us on the route that all House members take to get to the House of Representatives. I remember seeing a President taking that route, (via handheld camera) to deliver a The State of the Union one year, walking where we were now walking, under the bowels of The Capitol, and on the way back taking the tram to the Rayburn Building
- Viewing the original hall where the Supreme Court met, where cases in the early/late 1800s were heard, most notably the Dred Scott decision that Slavery was constitutional which caused Lincoln (among others) to speak out and brought the nation closer to Civil War
- Walking through the National Statuary Hall, where Congress used to meet, before it grew to 435 members. There’s a legend that the acoustics enabled John Adams to feign sleep and hear the other side of the House plot against his party, or enable him and his son John Quincy to communicate across the room via whispers, and you see interns bend down at opposite ends of the Hall, cup their hands and whisper at the tiles. Speaking of tile, there are gold tiles that denote the spot where desks of future presidents Millard Fillmore and James Buchanan were positioned
- The Rotunda. It felt like our version of the interior of the Pantheon in Rome, only truly American. From the image of Washington in the dome, a la Tiepolo, to the eight huge paintings on the walls describing freedom. Four before and four during/after the signing of the Declaration of Independence. My favorite was of the signing of the Declaration of Independence with the painter (a Jeffersonian) taking the poetic license of having Jefferson standing on the foot of John Adams.
- Going back to the Rayburn, passing Barney Frank's and Dennis Kucinich’s offices, viewing great memorabilia in Congressman Ackerman’s office including a used base from Shea in Lucite frame hanging on the wall, an illustrated map of all the great jazz musicians who've resided in Queens (including Louie Armstrong in Corona), and a sign from Fort Totten park (where the kids used to play baseball and football with DAC, overlooking the Throgs Neck bridge
- Meeting the staff, watching their interplay with Spence, and their fielding calls from constituents and others (most of them are not calling to congratulate the Congrssman) who get to Ackerman's name because it’s the second on the list of congressmen alphabetically.
- Seeing him walk towards us down a long corridor of the Rayburn Building, one of three buildings where congressmen have their offices (think the last scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark) in intern uniform, black slacks, shirt and tie, like he's worked there for a lot longer than six weeks
- Taking us on the route that all House members take to get to the House of Representatives. I remember seeing a President taking that route, (via handheld camera) to deliver a The State of the Union one year, walking where we were now walking, under the bowels of The Capitol, and on the way back taking the tram to the Rayburn Building
- Viewing the original hall where the Supreme Court met, where cases in the early/late 1800s were heard, most notably the Dred Scott decision that Slavery was constitutional which caused Lincoln (among others) to speak out and brought the nation closer to Civil War
- Walking through the National Statuary Hall, where Congress used to meet, before it grew to 435 members. There’s a legend that the acoustics enabled John Adams to feign sleep and hear the other side of the House plot against his party, or enable him and his son John Quincy to communicate across the room via whispers, and you see interns bend down at opposite ends of the Hall, cup their hands and whisper at the tiles. Speaking of tile, there are gold tiles that denote the spot where desks of future presidents Millard Fillmore and James Buchanan were positioned
- The Rotunda. It felt like our version of the interior of the Pantheon in Rome, only truly American. From the image of Washington in the dome, a la Tiepolo, to the eight huge paintings on the walls describing freedom. Four before and four during/after the signing of the Declaration of Independence. My favorite was of the signing of the Declaration of Independence with the painter (a Jeffersonian) taking the poetic license of having Jefferson standing on the foot of John Adams.
- Going back to the Rayburn, passing Barney Frank's and Dennis Kucinich’s offices, viewing great memorabilia in Congressman Ackerman’s office including a used base from Shea in Lucite frame hanging on the wall, an illustrated map of all the great jazz musicians who've resided in Queens (including Louie Armstrong in Corona), and a sign from Fort Totten park (where the kids used to play baseball and football with DAC, overlooking the Throgs Neck bridge
- Meeting the staff, watching their interplay with Spence, and their fielding calls from constituents and others (most of them are not calling to congratulate the Congrssman) who get to Ackerman's name because it’s the second on the list of congressmen alphabetically.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
The Last Play at Shea
Billy Joel “Last Play @ Shea” Friday July, 18.2008
Pre-game Show:
A great night often includes unexpected surprises, and tonight was no different. For starters, just seeing Shea set up this way. I’ve been here for over 100 night games, and the park never looked this way before. The stage, in mid-centerfield, butting up against the outfield wall and extending past the 378 marks from left center to right center, looked great. With Citi Field looming right behind the stage, looking like a real star with the same can’t miss lineage that Seaver, Strawberry and Wright had.
Without the spotlights illuminating the field, without the light shining from the place, it felt like I was viewing Shea at its wake. Which isn’t too far off the mark because this was more that a concert. It felt like saying goodbye to a dear family friend that’s been a fixture for 6-8 months a year for 40 + years, like a snowbird who goes away for the winter. But if this was gonna be a wake - it felt like what I’ve heard Irish wakes are like, hoisting a toast to the depart(ing) in song.
Waiting with anticipation since:
- the morning tickets went on sale when I had 10 browsers open and couldn’t come up with any before they sold out n 48 minutes
- parking at the Hall of Science next to precursors of what Shea will be in a couple of years – the Titan II and Atlas rockets - reminders of a previous generation
- hearing from a security guard that Paul and maybe Ringo and “others” were in the building
Starting Lineup:
The Star Spangled Banner
Miami 2017
Angry Young Man
My Life
The Entertainer
Summer, Highland Falls
Zanzibar
Allentown
Ballad of Billy the Kid
NY State of Mind (w Tony Bennett)
I left my Heart in San Francisco (chorus only)
Root Beer Rag (instrumental)
Goodnight Saigon
Don’t Ask Me Why
Keepin the Faith
The Downeaster “Alexa”
This Night (Dedicated to Little Anthony)
Movin’ Out
Under the Boardwalk/Innocent Man (Spanish Harlem)
Shameless (Garth Brooks)
She’s Always a Woman
Captain Jack
Goodnight, My Angel
River of Dreams
A Hard Day's Night
Walk This Way (Steven Tyler)
We Didn’t Start the Fire
It’s Still Rock N Roll to Me
My Generation (w Roger Daltrey)
You May Be Right
Encore
Scenes from an Italian Restaurant
Only the Good Die Young
2nd Encore
I Saw Her Standing There (w Paul McCartney)
Piano Man
Let It Be (Paul McCartney)
The Happy Recap – highlights:
The Star Spangled Banner – Joel lead off perfectly with a piano accompanied version, and on queue, the crowd started to scream at end - and didn’t let up for 3 hours.
Miami 2017 – all those NY references to a pumped up NY crowd right after the Star Spangled banner – with great fiery lighting!
Summer, Highland Falls – still just a wonderful song that doesn’t sound dated. In a recent Sunday Times article, he considered this (along with Vienna) his best work. It also mirrors where he said he is in his life, focusing more on contentment, less on highs & lows (which might be one of the reasons he hasn’t released any new popular work in 15 years – think Richard Pryor syndrome).
Zanzibar – used this as a vehicle to show Met clips. Perfect timing on the Rose/Harrelson fight scene!
New York State of Mind - with Tony Bennett – nuff said.
Goodnight Saigon – imagine the chorus with stage spots lighting members of the NYPD/FD and all military services in color dress singing “and we will all go down together”. Bringing tears to my eyes as I write this now. Followed by chants of “USA, USA” from the crowd sounding like one voice. There are no words to describe this. Sharing this kind of moment in unison with 60,000 people, all singing the same words at the same time. It’s that mob mentality where in addition to being yourself, you’re simultaneously part of something greater and more intense for a few moments in time, an amazing part of the human condition if you’re lucky enough to be a part of it.
Innocent Man – Solid and Soulful. Probably my 2nd favorite song of his after Summer, Highland Falls.
Shameless (Garth Brooks) – Written by Billy Joel, who performed it at Brooks’ free Central Park concert over 10 years ago - before Brooks’ two spring training stints in Port St. Lucie. Plus he wore his Spring training jersey (blue, number 1 of you’re keeping score at home) and cap.
Captain Jack – seminal song on the soundtrack of my life after my Dad was killed “they just found your father in the swimming pool – and I guess you won’t be going back to school for a while”. Brings me back to nights at Cunningham park in my Dad’s Fury III – haven’t rekindled those memories (with reason) in about a hundred years.
Hard Day’s Night – so here we go, after about an hour and a half of an amazing concert, we start to make history. It rocked just like you thought it would.
Walk This Way (Steven Tyler) - I find Aerosmith to be a poor man’s version of the Stones. From a concert strategy perspective, Tyler pinch hitting gave Joel a blow without bringing the intensity down - and the other 59,999 in the crowd loved it.
We Didn’t Start the Fire – The 6 story screens on both sides of the stage were in perfect sync with everyone/thing mentioned in the song!
My Generation (w Roger Daltrey) –The Who played Shea in 82 – so totally fitting, with Billy breaking a guitar a la Townsend at the end (“much easier to do than with a piano” he was quoted as saying after the show ;-)
Scenes From an Italian Restaurant – 60,000 in full throttle for every word.
Only The Good Die Young – Guinness Book of World Record for most people twisting simultaneously!
I Saw Her Standing There (w Paul McCartney)- So here you go, after 2+ hours, Paul comes out and we're a part of history. The whole crowd gave falsetto Woos after “I couldn’t dance with another”! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fPfB06P7Us
Piano Man – Oktoberfest at Shea – everyone swaying arm in arm!
Let It Be – Joel ceded the piano to Paul McCartney, unselfishly and rightfully so for the perfect song to end the serenade to 44 years at Shea. You can’t argue with the fact that this place has been a concrete pit with more frustrating moments than anyone cares to remember. But for all the slow motion train wrecks, even more than the two Series wins, we can easily conjure up cherished memories of our fathers and youth gone by. Shea may be a concrete pit – but it’s been our concrete pit.
Amazin’ Anecdotes:
Definitely one of the 5 most memorable shows I’ve ever been to, to a great extent because it was more than a concert. It was also great seeing the park packed. I wouldn’t want to imagine that this was the last time the place would sellout. Has it ever held more than the 60,000 that were here tonight? There were 53,275 at Shea for the Beatles.
Box Score:
Game time Temperature: 84, humid, no breeze
Time of the Game: 3 hours (8:45 – 11:45)
Location: Mezzanine Sec 26 (Left Field) Row K Seat 17
Pre-game Show:
A great night often includes unexpected surprises, and tonight was no different. For starters, just seeing Shea set up this way. I’ve been here for over 100 night games, and the park never looked this way before. The stage, in mid-centerfield, butting up against the outfield wall and extending past the 378 marks from left center to right center, looked great. With Citi Field looming right behind the stage, looking like a real star with the same can’t miss lineage that Seaver, Strawberry and Wright had.
Without the spotlights illuminating the field, without the light shining from the place, it felt like I was viewing Shea at its wake. Which isn’t too far off the mark because this was more that a concert. It felt like saying goodbye to a dear family friend that’s been a fixture for 6-8 months a year for 40 + years, like a snowbird who goes away for the winter. But if this was gonna be a wake - it felt like what I’ve heard Irish wakes are like, hoisting a toast to the depart(ing) in song.
Waiting with anticipation since:
- the morning tickets went on sale when I had 10 browsers open and couldn’t come up with any before they sold out n 48 minutes
- parking at the Hall of Science next to precursors of what Shea will be in a couple of years – the Titan II and Atlas rockets - reminders of a previous generation
- hearing from a security guard that Paul and maybe Ringo and “others” were in the building
Starting Lineup:
The Star Spangled Banner
Miami 2017
Angry Young Man
My Life
The Entertainer
Summer, Highland Falls
Zanzibar
Allentown
Ballad of Billy the Kid
NY State of Mind (w Tony Bennett)
I left my Heart in San Francisco (chorus only)
Root Beer Rag (instrumental)
Goodnight Saigon
Don’t Ask Me Why
Keepin the Faith
The Downeaster “Alexa”
This Night (Dedicated to Little Anthony)
Movin’ Out
Under the Boardwalk/Innocent Man (Spanish Harlem)
Shameless (Garth Brooks)
She’s Always a Woman
Captain Jack
Goodnight, My Angel
River of Dreams
A Hard Day's Night
Walk This Way (Steven Tyler)
We Didn’t Start the Fire
It’s Still Rock N Roll to Me
My Generation (w Roger Daltrey)
You May Be Right
Encore
Scenes from an Italian Restaurant
Only the Good Die Young
2nd Encore
I Saw Her Standing There (w Paul McCartney)
Piano Man
Let It Be (Paul McCartney)
The Happy Recap – highlights:
The Star Spangled Banner – Joel lead off perfectly with a piano accompanied version, and on queue, the crowd started to scream at end - and didn’t let up for 3 hours.
Miami 2017 – all those NY references to a pumped up NY crowd right after the Star Spangled banner – with great fiery lighting!
Summer, Highland Falls – still just a wonderful song that doesn’t sound dated. In a recent Sunday Times article, he considered this (along with Vienna) his best work. It also mirrors where he said he is in his life, focusing more on contentment, less on highs & lows (which might be one of the reasons he hasn’t released any new popular work in 15 years – think Richard Pryor syndrome).
Zanzibar – used this as a vehicle to show Met clips. Perfect timing on the Rose/Harrelson fight scene!
New York State of Mind - with Tony Bennett – nuff said.
Goodnight Saigon – imagine the chorus with stage spots lighting members of the NYPD/FD and all military services in color dress singing “and we will all go down together”. Bringing tears to my eyes as I write this now. Followed by chants of “USA, USA” from the crowd sounding like one voice. There are no words to describe this. Sharing this kind of moment in unison with 60,000 people, all singing the same words at the same time. It’s that mob mentality where in addition to being yourself, you’re simultaneously part of something greater and more intense for a few moments in time, an amazing part of the human condition if you’re lucky enough to be a part of it.
Innocent Man – Solid and Soulful. Probably my 2nd favorite song of his after Summer, Highland Falls.
Shameless (Garth Brooks) – Written by Billy Joel, who performed it at Brooks’ free Central Park concert over 10 years ago - before Brooks’ two spring training stints in Port St. Lucie. Plus he wore his Spring training jersey (blue, number 1 of you’re keeping score at home) and cap.
Captain Jack – seminal song on the soundtrack of my life after my Dad was killed “they just found your father in the swimming pool – and I guess you won’t be going back to school for a while”. Brings me back to nights at Cunningham park in my Dad’s Fury III – haven’t rekindled those memories (with reason) in about a hundred years.
Hard Day’s Night – so here we go, after about an hour and a half of an amazing concert, we start to make history. It rocked just like you thought it would.
Walk This Way (Steven Tyler) - I find Aerosmith to be a poor man’s version of the Stones. From a concert strategy perspective, Tyler pinch hitting gave Joel a blow without bringing the intensity down - and the other 59,999 in the crowd loved it.
We Didn’t Start the Fire – The 6 story screens on both sides of the stage were in perfect sync with everyone/thing mentioned in the song!
My Generation (w Roger Daltrey) –The Who played Shea in 82 – so totally fitting, with Billy breaking a guitar a la Townsend at the end (“much easier to do than with a piano” he was quoted as saying after the show ;-)
Scenes From an Italian Restaurant – 60,000 in full throttle for every word.
Only The Good Die Young – Guinness Book of World Record for most people twisting simultaneously!
I Saw Her Standing There (w Paul McCartney)- So here you go, after 2+ hours, Paul comes out and we're a part of history. The whole crowd gave falsetto Woos after “I couldn’t dance with another”! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-fPfB06P7Us
Piano Man – Oktoberfest at Shea – everyone swaying arm in arm!
Let It Be – Joel ceded the piano to Paul McCartney, unselfishly and rightfully so for the perfect song to end the serenade to 44 years at Shea. You can’t argue with the fact that this place has been a concrete pit with more frustrating moments than anyone cares to remember. But for all the slow motion train wrecks, even more than the two Series wins, we can easily conjure up cherished memories of our fathers and youth gone by. Shea may be a concrete pit – but it’s been our concrete pit.
Amazin’ Anecdotes:
Definitely one of the 5 most memorable shows I’ve ever been to, to a great extent because it was more than a concert. It was also great seeing the park packed. I wouldn’t want to imagine that this was the last time the place would sellout. Has it ever held more than the 60,000 that were here tonight? There were 53,275 at Shea for the Beatles.
Box Score:
Game time Temperature: 84, humid, no breeze
Time of the Game: 3 hours (8:45 – 11:45)
Location: Mezzanine Sec 26 (Left Field) Row K Seat 17
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