About 7 years ago, I’m picking Jake (my youngest son) up from Wayne Hills High, he was a freshman at the time, and at the stop light at Valley and Berdan he asks, “Dad, what would you think if when I grow up if I become a sanitation worker? A garbage man? I see the stress you and mom feel from work sometimes and how grumpy you can get...I’d live within my means, and I wouldn’t have to feel that pressure.”
Three things went through my mind, pretty much simultaneously;
1- F&*k, now I’ll never get this kid off the payroll…
2- You know, he might have a point here…
3- (This is what I said to him) “Well, we do need sanitation men. There are a lot of cogs in the wheel that make the world go round. But one thing you may want to think about is 50 years from now, when you’re retiring and looking back at your career – because as far as we know we only have one shot at this – are you going to feel fulfilled? Like you did your life’s work?”
About the same time, I’m working at home and I hear this banging sound. I come upstairs and he’s fiddling around with Carol’s iMac, laying down some drum tracks on Garage Band. A few days later I hear some shouting and this time he’s Rapping into the program, creating what would later be known as his "Big Dog and The Family Band" CD.
Then in his sophomore year he takes TV Production as an elective. First he’s learning how to use the equipment, then he and his fellow Mooks (they would later refer to themselves as Howeds) create a sports talk show we see aired on the local Public Access channel. This evolves into his creating films around school that would later become the Reel he submitted to apply to (and be accepted by) NYU Tisch.
We also gave him some guitar lessons, and he started writing and recording songs on Garage Band. One day he comes home and tells us he’s been asked to play at an event in town, "The Pantry Party" - all he needed was a band. So he enlisted a few guys he saw perform previously and they became Marguerito - as well as some of his dearest friends. Perhaps you’ve seen them perform in town or in NYC?
So now fast forward to today, and imagine you’re a parent, and this kid - your kid, is graduating college. This week. He’s about to pursue a career that he’s genuinely excited about, with great grades and feedback on his work, from a school that has a history of producing industry professionals. He’s developed a network of like minded colleagues who also have become dear friends, and are similarly skilled and enjoy each others company. And perhaps most importantly, he’s not only learned much of what he needs to know, but he’s also continued to learn how to learn – to teach himself on an ongoing basis.
And on top of that, he’s filled with love, intelligence, humor, and seems to savor the little things in life as well. What more could a parent ask of their child*?
Of course this doesn’t happen in a vacuum, but rather in a community. There are so many friends and family (no not their phone plan) who have fed and/or sheltered him at their homes, apartments, restaurants and bungalows, so many of you who continue to nourish him emotionally, through your ongoing support and interest in his work. From the bottom of our hearts, Carol (who wrote and vetted this), Spence, and I would like to thank you for all you’ve done, and continue to do.
So Jacob, let’s stop and take a moment to reflect at this intersection in life (which is not necessarily Valley and Berdan). Appreciate what you’ve accomplished as previously noted, savor the next couple of weeks, and then continue doing what you do and the rest will take care of itself.
We all wish for you what we hope you wish for yourself; fulfillment, health, and prosperity - and the ability to share it with you!
* To have TWO kids that you feel this way about, which is a topic for a later date – possibly Father’s Day…
Three things went through my mind, pretty much simultaneously;
1- F&*k, now I’ll never get this kid off the payroll…
2- You know, he might have a point here…
3- (This is what I said to him) “Well, we do need sanitation men. There are a lot of cogs in the wheel that make the world go round. But one thing you may want to think about is 50 years from now, when you’re retiring and looking back at your career – because as far as we know we only have one shot at this – are you going to feel fulfilled? Like you did your life’s work?”
About the same time, I’m working at home and I hear this banging sound. I come upstairs and he’s fiddling around with Carol’s iMac, laying down some drum tracks on Garage Band. A few days later I hear some shouting and this time he’s Rapping into the program, creating what would later be known as his "Big Dog and The Family Band" CD.
Then in his sophomore year he takes TV Production as an elective. First he’s learning how to use the equipment, then he and his fellow Mooks (they would later refer to themselves as Howeds) create a sports talk show we see aired on the local Public Access channel. This evolves into his creating films around school that would later become the Reel he submitted to apply to (and be accepted by) NYU Tisch.
We also gave him some guitar lessons, and he started writing and recording songs on Garage Band. One day he comes home and tells us he’s been asked to play at an event in town, "The Pantry Party" - all he needed was a band. So he enlisted a few guys he saw perform previously and they became Marguerito - as well as some of his dearest friends. Perhaps you’ve seen them perform in town or in NYC?
So now fast forward to today, and imagine you’re a parent, and this kid - your kid, is graduating college. This week. He’s about to pursue a career that he’s genuinely excited about, with great grades and feedback on his work, from a school that has a history of producing industry professionals. He’s developed a network of like minded colleagues who also have become dear friends, and are similarly skilled and enjoy each others company. And perhaps most importantly, he’s not only learned much of what he needs to know, but he’s also continued to learn how to learn – to teach himself on an ongoing basis.
And on top of that, he’s filled with love, intelligence, humor, and seems to savor the little things in life as well. What more could a parent ask of their child*?
Of course this doesn’t happen in a vacuum, but rather in a community. There are so many friends and family (no not their phone plan) who have fed and/or sheltered him at their homes, apartments, restaurants and bungalows, so many of you who continue to nourish him emotionally, through your ongoing support and interest in his work. From the bottom of our hearts, Carol (who wrote and vetted this), Spence, and I would like to thank you for all you’ve done, and continue to do.
So Jacob, let’s stop and take a moment to reflect at this intersection in life (which is not necessarily Valley and Berdan). Appreciate what you’ve accomplished as previously noted, savor the next couple of weeks, and then continue doing what you do and the rest will take care of itself.
We all wish for you what we hope you wish for yourself; fulfillment, health, and prosperity - and the ability to share it with you!
* To have TWO kids that you feel this way about, which is a topic for a later date – possibly Father’s Day…
1 comment:
Perfect for a Fathers Day. Lots of love, Dani (Caterino/Golub)
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